Yesterday Alison was invited to a friend's house to decorate Halloween cookies. The friend is from school and it was Alison and another little girl invited over to the friends house.
The three girls got along well and made very creative designs on their pumpkin, cat, ghost and bat sugar cookies. I was there as well and got a chance to talk a little with the girls' moms. We found out a little about each other and one of the moms asked if Alison was an only child (or just assumed). I politely corrected her and told her that we had a son at home as well. She was sorry she didn't realize and that was about the end of the conversation as the girls needed our attention.
The rest of the day and last night as well, I have been thinking about what I can say. What if that conversation had gone on? What if she had asked more about Daniel like how old he is and if he is walking yet? How should I respond? Pretending like everything is fine and normal seems wrong, but telling the whole sordid story isn't feeling right either--I don't want anyone to feel sorry for us or for Daniel. What can I say? What is a good overall statement to show that yes Daniel is developmentally delayed but that he is a very sweet boy is is continuing to make progress everyday? How can I help people understand and how can I help them want to listen to what I so desperately want to say?
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2 comments:
Say whatever you feel like saying! Just the other day, one of my coworkers asked "Is Daniel walking or crawling?" I politely and confidently said: "No. He has some developmental delays." If the person had expressed more interest about this, I would have had no problem elaborating. But in this case, the person was satisfied with the brief response.
I honestly don't care what our casual acquaintances or strangers think or feel about our situation. As long as they don't respond with a stupid remark, I'm OK with giving out the information when it is requested.
(Isn't it funny that Lara and I haven't had this conversation in person?)
Lara, I think there's no simple answer to this, it really would depend on the person you're speaking with. You'll probably get pretty good at reading people, and guessing how much they're willing to hear. Keeping it short and honest is always a good answer, they'll let you know if they want you to go into more detail. Better to err on the side of simplicity. Good luck!
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