Chance encounter

While Lara and Alison were waiting in line at the register, I was pushing Danny in his stroller through a toy shop yesterday. As we were exiting, a large man bent down to Danny, smiled, reached out his hand and said "Hey buddy, gimme five!" It was immediately clear that the man was mentally retarded, exemplifying the demeanor of a child in the body of an adult. (He himself was grasping a toy in a box.) The man, likely in his 20s, was accompanied by his mother, who I would have guessed to be in her 60s.

I fully expected Daniel to abruptly jump in his stroller seat, frown, and then cry at the whole affair. Danny does not like people to sneak up on him. Even pretty young women, whom he typically ogles, are not well received if they surprise him with a greeting and a smile.

But Daniel did not frown or cry. He was slightly startled, but then he looked the man over, and slapped him five! He's been doing this at home with us, but I never would have expected that he would do it with a complete stranger, much less a stranger who snuck up on him -- and particularly not someone who looked slightly scary as this fellow did. But there he had done it. Daniel slapped this guy five without worry.

I have been thinking about this quite a lot since it happened. Did Danny feel that there was something OK about this guy? Was there something about his childlike personality that Daniel found unimposing? Did Daniel sense some connection? Perhaps this is far-fetched. Maybe Danny is just growing out of a phase that happened to coincide with this incident. But still, I can't help wondering how Daniel processed this exchange.

A moment later, the man's mother turned to me and asked, "Is he challenged?" I was silent for a moment. This was the first time anyone had recognized Daniel in this way. I stammered, "Yes, yes he is."

Lara jumped in and said, "He has a brain disorder called lissencephaly, which no one has ever heard of. The result is that he has some developmental delays."

In a sweet, knowing manner, the man's mother said. "There's something about his face. I thought he might be." Then she complimented him: "But he's got a lot of teeth!"

The woman's son then opened his mouth and said. "Look at my teeth!" showing his yellow buck teeth.

This chance encounter makes me wonder not just how Danny is doing right now but also what the future holds. Will Lara and I be taking care of Daniel when he is an adult? Will he become independent? So little is known about Danny's condition, it is pretty near impossible to predict anything. In my heart, I know that "not knowing" is perfectly acceptable. But when presented with a picture of a possible future, it is difficult to not let my mind wander.

Birthday Boy

Two years ago today, Jason and I went to the hospital to have our second child. With no knowledge of whether or not that child would be a boy or a girl, but with the expectation that since we already had a little girl that we would most likely be having another little girl. Not until the nurse mentioned that it could be a boy did we think that we might actually have a boy. At 7:35pm our precious little bald-headed baby boy was born. Sweet little Daniel Paul. We were stunned but also blessed. We had a complete family--mom, dad, daughter and son. Thank you Daniel for completing this wonderful family...we love you!

soplar un beso

When Alison was just 6 months old, we were living in NC and I got a full time job. We weren't as fortunate as we are now to have my parents nearby to take care of her so we needed to put her in child care. Jason found a place close by that was more like a house than a child care center. It was further from any child care center I had ever seen by also being a Spanish Immersion preschool. Alison thrived. She was bilingual by the age of 2.

It is unfortunate that she doesn't have that everyday now and has lost some of her Spanish but hopefully she has a good enough foundation. It took a while for me to get used to, having barely passed Spanish in high school and hating every moment of it (I didn't know then what I know now). I had a hard time keeping up with my daughter who was eventually speaking sentences in Spanish. Before too long her teachers would teach her something in Spanish that we hadn't yet taught her in English. They would teach her (at the ripe old age of 1 1/2 or 2) to blow a kiss (soplar un beso). It was amazing she knew what to do with those words and of course when we got her home we said "un beso," quite often to get her to blow a kiss.

Daniel of course knows no Spanish words, though sometimes we try to speak it for Alison's sake but I think Daniel just deems us crazy, but one thing he does now know is the English version to blow a kiss. When asked he will blow you a kiss with a big "Mwah," at the end and it is again one of the best damn kisses I have ever received.

Found It

I have been thinking about this song for a long time now. It isn't played much but I find it to be something of a song for Daniel:

Close your eyes,
Have no fear,
The monsters gone,
He's on the run and your daddy's here,

Beautiful,
Beautiful, beautiful,
Beautiful Boy,

Before you go to sleep,
Say a little prayer,
Every day in every way,
It's getting better and better,

Beautiful,
Beautiful, beautiful,
Beautiful Boy,

Out on the ocean sailing away,
I can hardly wait,
To see you to come of age,
But I guess we'll both,
Just have to be patient,
Yes it's a long way to go,
But in the meantime,

Before you cross the street,
Take my hand,
Life is just what happens to you,
While your busy making other plans,

Beautiful,
Beautiful, beautiful,
Beautiful Boy,


---Thanks to John Lennon