Monday, January 28, 2008
Hurray for Daniel
It's the little things in life that keep you going sometimes. So without further ado: Daniel clapped his hands together for the first time this weekend! We were all so very proud of him. I don't think he realized what a big deal it was but he was definitely happy that we were so happy. Sweet little boy. Now we just need to teach him to clap when his sister finishes with her "performances."
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
When
When will I accept that Daniel has to be the one with the horrible disease? When will I realize that this is what we all have to face everyday of our lives? When will others accept any child with a disability? When will we be able to not fight for more services, they will just be there? When will Daniel crawl? When will he walk? When will he realize that he is different and by that realization be saddened? When will others really realize his difference? When will I stop protecting him/shielding him for the world? When can I breath? When will it not hurt to read a story about another child with disabilities? When will my heart stop aching? When will I stop wanting more for my children? When will this nightmare end?
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Missing Them
The new year has been relatively quiet and dare I say somewhat good? I have gotten a new job with the new year and it is incredibly exactly what I needed for a job.
However, it is full time.
Well, it is whatever amount of time I want it to be but we need the money so it needs to be full-time. This is fine with me because I like the work I am doing and it keeps me busy, but it is also difficult to leave my children for a full day when I haven't done that in so long.
I got spoiled when I was just teaching one class three days a week. I was so spoiled even that I think I took my time with them for granted--no, I know I did. Though out of this time away does come some good. I am now spending more quality time with them whereas before it was more quantity. I now realize how precious every moment is and want every moment to be special and free from any angst. I guess that is a good thing.
Most of all with the start of this new job (don't get me wrong, overall it is a good thing) is that I am afraid of missing Daniel's milestones. It is very hard to only "hear" about what happened during his day. He is doing so many new things everyday that I don't want to miss.
Lately, Daniel cannot be put at a table with anything within his reach or he will grab it. He just wants to grab anything. He is seriously trying to communicate with us and we "think" he has learned to say "all done." When you ask him his name he will (for the most part) say "Day-na," or "NaDa." He constantly babbles and loves, just LOVES to play mimic games with you-as long as he is in charge. He continues to roll over constantly and can manage to make his way around by just doing that. On his belly he so looks as though he wants to come toward you but just doesn't have it just yet. He has tried several new foods that he likes with new textures but I think his favorite of all of those is the Lentil soup I made-delicious. He is such a wonderful spirit. Both my kids are. It is very difficult to be around them and not be happy. I am enjoying that a lot more these days.
I know it will be sad if it happens that Daniel starts to crawl without me there to see but it would that sad too if Alison happened to learn something new without me there-and that has happened.
I've never been a stay-at-home mom type and I really admire those that are. Sometimes though I wish I could have it all. Sometimes I wish they didn't grow up so fast. Sometimes I just miss them.
However, it is full time.
Well, it is whatever amount of time I want it to be but we need the money so it needs to be full-time. This is fine with me because I like the work I am doing and it keeps me busy, but it is also difficult to leave my children for a full day when I haven't done that in so long.
I got spoiled when I was just teaching one class three days a week. I was so spoiled even that I think I took my time with them for granted--no, I know I did. Though out of this time away does come some good. I am now spending more quality time with them whereas before it was more quantity. I now realize how precious every moment is and want every moment to be special and free from any angst. I guess that is a good thing.
Most of all with the start of this new job (don't get me wrong, overall it is a good thing) is that I am afraid of missing Daniel's milestones. It is very hard to only "hear" about what happened during his day. He is doing so many new things everyday that I don't want to miss.
Lately, Daniel cannot be put at a table with anything within his reach or he will grab it. He just wants to grab anything. He is seriously trying to communicate with us and we "think" he has learned to say "all done." When you ask him his name he will (for the most part) say "Day-na," or "NaDa." He constantly babbles and loves, just LOVES to play mimic games with you-as long as he is in charge. He continues to roll over constantly and can manage to make his way around by just doing that. On his belly he so looks as though he wants to come toward you but just doesn't have it just yet. He has tried several new foods that he likes with new textures but I think his favorite of all of those is the Lentil soup I made-delicious. He is such a wonderful spirit. Both my kids are. It is very difficult to be around them and not be happy. I am enjoying that a lot more these days.
I know it will be sad if it happens that Daniel starts to crawl without me there to see but it would that sad too if Alison happened to learn something new without me there-and that has happened.
I've never been a stay-at-home mom type and I really admire those that are. Sometimes though I wish I could have it all. Sometimes I wish they didn't grow up so fast. Sometimes I just miss them.
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