Predictions

I wanted so bad to make a prediction for this new year. I stopped short of coming right out and saying it so as not to jinx myself or especially Daniel.

I would love to be able to predict so many things for him. For the new year brings new hope that maybe this year he will walk, maybe this year he will talk, maybe this year we will know better how to care for our son.

In so many ways I have always thought of the new year as a new promise. A fresh start. Now we can wipe the slate clean and start over.

However, in Daniel's case I realize that it is a process and a continuation and in the new year we will see changes and improvement in all areas of growth, but that no one year will define his progress.

For Daniel and for all of us, it is the culmination of what has come before that sets the stage for what is to come.

2010 will be a good year, but it will be the same type of year with ups and downs, highs and lows, happiness and sadness, but most importantly a tremendous amount of love.

Running Dreams

I have dreams and I know that Jason does as well as everyone else in my family. I have dreams of Daniel running.

It's almost funny because even in my dreams I remind myself that Daniel can't even walk let alone run, but in my dreams he runs! He runs fast too. I always find myself explaining to whoever is there with me in the dream that he doesn't even walk! I tell them that he just runs but doesn't put it all together and realize that he can do both. It always seems to me to be so real and true and even second nature for him to run in my dream.

When I wake up I am often confused and have to remind myself of the reality of the situation. Often I can shrug it off and just move on, but there are some times when I just become very sad.

I just want one of my dreams to come true someday, just one.

Thanksgiving Day

I am thankful for so many things this year.

First, I am thankful for this Thanksgiving especially, because for the first time in a few years I am spending Thanksgiving with my family and we are all healthy!

Next, I am so thankful for my children who are both healthy and happy and simply wonderful!

I am also very thankful for my wonderful husband who, while being the very best husband a woman could ever ask for, he is the most wonderful and caring father my children or any child could ever have.

I am so thankful for my parents, they are just the best parents with their love, support, generosity and my children benefit from them every day.

I am thankful for my brother who, even though he lives far away, is still my very best friend and major supporter.

Finally, I am thankful for all the people in our lives: In-laws, extended family, close friends. Without all of you we would not be here.

In my heart of hearts I truly believe that it is the people you surround yourself with who get you through the day.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Wheelchair Bound

Daniel is thoroughly enjoying school. He loves going on the bus and from the daily reports we get, it appears he is almost always smiling and having a great time at school. Really nothing more that a parent could ask for.

As for Daniel's mobility, well that is moving along (no pun intended). He still scoots around the house (very fast I may add) and he can stand with assistance. Yesterday in his daily report, we found a note asking us to set up a time to meet with the wheelchair vendor. This has struck a chord with me. It is not that we all don't believe that someday Daniel will walk, because we do. It is more that he is not walking now and the bigger he gets (and he is a big boy) the harder it is to move him and truthfully no stroller is big enough for him.

I realize all of this and if it were anyone else's child I would encourage those parents to make themselves and their child more comfortable. But it is not anyone else, it is us and it is Daniel. Jason--ever the positive one in this relationship reminded me that it is not a life sentence and that one day Daniel will walk. My biggest fear is that Daniel will think we are giving up on him. We are so not! The last thing we would ever do is give up on our boy. Our boy who will one day very soon be walking around and tearing the place up.

School days

Each day, Daniel's teacher sends home a note to let us know about his day. Today's note made me grin widely:

Daniel had a good day today. He has a sensory group with our therapists and worked on colors and fall leaves. He also visited the library. His favorite time today was by far enjoying lunch with his friends. He laughed and laughed as they shared looks. He also said POPCORN very clearly during lunch.

Shining Daniel

It has been busy to say the least. The kids have been in school and there are several activities at night as well.

Daniel is doing very well in school. We get a daily report that always mentions his smile or good nature and how much he enjoyed the day. He truly LOVES school.

His language has been growing every day. He is trying to talk more and more and is learning new words as well. Sometimes he babbles in what seems like a true sentence. He is also learning to chew better and has picked up a new habit of hitting (this is not really something we are proud of).

He is most definitely a 3 year old with his short attention span and his ability to throw a fit if he does not like something. This new behavior comes unexpectedly but just like any other child Daniel needs to be disciplined. This is difficult as we have not needed to do this before for him so he is not used to our stern and firm voices telling him that hitting is not OK.

This weekend we took Daniel to a carnival on campus geared toward children with disabilities. The program sponsoring the event is a program that provides community based adaptive PE to children and adults. It was interesting but very clear that it was not for Daniel. He cannot stand or walk and so all the activities that were offered were not appropriate for him.

Daniel has a long way to go. The director of the program asked us what our goals for Daniel were as his parents. I stated matter-of-fact, "isn't it obvious?" I want him to walk. More so, I want it all. I want him to do everything. Too much to ask?

Putting words together

My boy will turn 3 in a few days but still is nowhere near a normal toddler in terms of his vocabulary or language development. Not a problem, though. Daniel manages to get his message across with a few choice infantile utterances. "Bah-bah" for good-bye, for instance... "Car-car" for going in the car...

This past Saturday morning, I was loading up the van with a few bags and suitcases for a brief trip. As I was going in and out of the house, Danny watched me like he was following a tennis match. Back and forth, back and forth from the house to the driveway.

Suddenly, with all the effort he could muster, Daniel exclaimed, "Go... bah-bah!"

My heart melted.