Family vacation

We just got back from Disney World and had a terrific time. I was just looking over the photos from the visit, reliving some of the highlights, and certainly this trip was mostly about Alison. At five years old, the Disney magic is real to her. Ask her, and she'll tell you that she met and spoke with actual Princesses.

But the photos also reminded me of the quick thoughts and momentary observations that raced through my head throughout the trip -- thoughts and observations about Daniel.

Early in the trip -- I think it might have even been on our first day -- Lara remarked that it was difficult for her to see all the other kids who were Danny's age. It was hard for me too. Under normal conditions, Danny should be a toddler by now. Kids his age should be mobile, whether crawling, walking or scooting. Kids his age are eating solid foods. Kids his age are talking. At Disney World, kids his age were running and playing in the pool.

Certainly, we are aware of Daniel's deficiencies when we're at home, living our everyday lives. Having just been surrounded by loads of other families for nearly a week, though, Daniel's delays seem more pronounced. Not to oversimplify his condition or discount his progress, but in general Daniel exemplifies the abilities of an infant in the body of a toddler -- a tall and heavy toddler.

Even a toddler Danny's size still fits into a baby stroller, so Danny's limitations probably aren't immediately apparent to most. For this reason, we obtained at Disney World a sticker to adhere to Daniel's stroller, a sticker that identified to theme park employees that our stroller was to be treated the same as a wheelchair. This situation allowed Daniel to remain in his stroller in areas where strollers were usually prohibited. We didn't have to park the stroller or fold it up as other families did, for example, before queuing up for many rides or entering certain attractions.

While this was a convenience for us, it was also a sore reminder of Daniel's condition. I looked around and saw older kids and adults in wheelchairs and so-called ECVs, those little motorized carts, and thought that this might be what Danny needs in a few years.

Make no mistake, I had a wonderful time on this vacation. Even though there were some tantrums and crankiness, and not all of them exclusive to the kids, I almost wish that we could have stayed longer. I always find it hard to go back to work on Mondays because I miss my children terribly. Today, I'm going back to work after more than a week of being with them. It's enough to make me want to put my career on hold to be a stay-at-home dad. (Which, by the way, is something that I have often said that I would do if we could financially swing it.)

If I did stay home with the kids, I would make Daniel's therapy my job. As good as his therapists are, I don't feel that they provide nearly enough attention. One hour every week or two just isn't cutting it. I don't blame the therapists necessarily. They are in high demand in a part of the state where there just aren't very many such therapists to go around.

This post is a bit all over the place, I know. But I suppose the haphazardness of my writing is an indication of my mixed emotions in the wee hours before I have to go back to work. I'm not sure if this vacation has helped me to put things in perspective or has hampered my take on my boy and his lissencephaly.