Truth, Reality

I know in my heart of hearts that it is unfair to compare Daniel to other children his age. However, when faced this past weekend with two little boys slightly younger than Daniel-walking, talking perfectly normal little boys, I cannot help but to compare.

I still go back to the why of it all. Why Daniel? I cannot make sense of it, and I don't think that I ever will.

I love Daniel with all my being but the reality is that that love will never change his differences. I wish it could. I wish that someone could just love someone so much that all of that person's difficulties would go away because I can't move mountains, I can't change it and I can't control it either and that is what bothers me the most.

The other day I visited Daniel's soon to be special ed classroom. It was a truly surreal situation for me. Here I saw children that seemed to me to be far worse than Daniel, but in reality, some were very much like him. I fully expected someone official to come walking in to the classroom and tell me that a mistake had been made and that my son actually belonged in the regular classroom, but that was just a wish on my part.

I know full well that Daniel will do great in this class. I know he will love it and that it will be the best thing for him but in truth I still wish it weren't so.